It has taken me months to come to terms with the fact that God was taking my "Missions", "Motherhood", and "Me" to a whole new level. When I found out that in the midst of itinerating for Germany, transitioning our lives, packing a house, selling possessions that I was PREGNANT AGAIN, I went into a serious season of FREAKING OUT. Yes, I don't think I handled this information the best. Yes, we wanted a third child. Yes, I love my children. But, NO, I hate being pregnant. And I know what pregnancy means for me-- exhaustion, nausea, hips going out of place, sleeplessness, millions of midnight trips to the bathroom, exhaustion, aches and pains, getting big all-over again, tiredness, fatigue, being uncomfortable... did I mention exhaustion?!? Anyways... the idea that God thought it best to throw this curve ball at me in THIS season of life just floored me. For a few weeks, I think I was in a funk. I couldn't blog about it. I was like, "Why now? Why me? Why in the middle of all this?" Then, my husband and God gave me an attitude adjustment. LOL. I had just started this blog, hadn't I? And God was saying, "Yes, this season is VERY MUCH about missions, motherhood and you...so, Janine, don't you know that I know what is best?"
So, here I am. 5 months into this pregnancy and finally writing about it. I think now that I feel better (out of the 1st 16 weeks of yuck) and my brain is back for a short season (until month 8 hits and is gone for the first 10 months of my babies life), I feel ready to talk about missions again, motherhood again, and me.
The first piece of news will deal with motherhood: We are having another BOY! Isn't that wonderful? As I posted on Facebook, I am always completely wrong about what I am having. I thought Abbie was a boy, Nate was a girl and this one was a girl too. So, you can imagine my shock when we got a full view of "the boy" living inside of me! LOL. Legs Indian-style, arms thrown back behind his head, this little man was kicking' it in my belly lazy style! So adorable. Reminded me of Abbie when she sleeps. I told Brian in the ultrasound, that because Abbie and I are just strong ladies, it is probably all for the best that we will be outnumbered in the house. I think we will still hold our own and be a force to be reckoned with by the males in the family. ;o)
On the motherhood news, my little Nate has decided that he wants to be potty trained.... something I was totally not ready to do yet and have no clue how to do. My mom and Missy (sister-in-law) pretty much potty trained Abbie when she was 26 months old at my mom's house with me in 3 days. They were so on top of it and made it fun. I think I basically watched from the sidelines. Now, in my own house, on my own, I am forced to deal with a wee-wee wielding 25 month old little boy who pulls his diapers off, tells me "somethings coming" but it never does, and wants so badly to figure out how to make his pee pee go in the toilet on command. I wish I could just flip a pee pee switch for him, but I can't. We had one success and two failures today. But tomorrow is another day. Luckily for me, he is mortified when he wets his underwear or the floor, so I think the mortification will work to my advantage. If you think of me, pray for sweet success.
And for my sweet, strong-willed Abbie, wow... what can I say? She sends me to the drawing boards of motherhood and to prayer. How do I get this strongly opinionated angel to mind me? Hmm... some days, I think we have made major progress. Other days, mama mia, I need Super Nanny to help me figure it out. But she continues to surprise me with her deep thoughts, boldness, and artistic creativity. The other day while visiting a church, the pastor called all the kids to the front and asked them what "love" is. Abbie was the only one to raise her hand. She said, "Love is giving someone a hug." I was so proud of her!! Our little girl did not care that she was the "new girl!" She was bold. I love that about her.
After all, this, I am so blessed by all that God has given me: 2.5 beautiful children, a husband who loves Jesus and is a great husband, friend and father, an amazing future in Germany serving the Lord and the nations, and great parents who have led the way in the things of God. I am so imperfect...so undeserving of all that God is doing and has blessed me with. Lord, make me able, wise and strong to live above myself and my failures and to live in YOU, drawing from YOU and for YOU.
I will write about out recent Germany trip soon... just know that 11 days without kids but with my husband traveling around in Germany was awesome, refreshing and life-giving. I am a better mom for it. :o)
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